Woof! Hello you guys! I'll have to admit I'm not always the good boy mommy Renza is making me out to be. She always takes my side and that makes everyone think I do everything right. Her taking my side also means I can get away with anything.
Fluffy, on the other hand, gets blamed for everything. She always gets caught. She has not perfected the art of looking innocent although you're guilty yet.
We tore apart both our beds and Fluffy was caught. So mommy said she's very naughty and keeps bringing it up now. Fluffy the Destroyer.
I helped destroy the beds. My blanket too. Except I did not get blamed.
Why is that? I thought about it and I'll share a few things I think helped me escape the blame game.
How to get away with anything
1. I'm very fluffy
My fluffiness makes me soft and cuddly. Fluffy still needs more fluff. Ironic yes! Mommy Renza loves soft things.
I don't allow her to cut my hair. If she does manage to cut it, I'll be less fluffy and more blamable.
Not all doggies have fluff, but then again not all dog moms and dads like fluff. You need to know what it is about your breed that they love and play it up.
Rub it in their faces. It's your best weapon. Whether it's your head tilting skills, your comforting licks or whatever you do that makes you adorable.
2. Play the victim
I'm not saying go and pick a fight with a dog. Maybe a cat. My bad experience with the doggies next door made mommy Renza only see the good in me and she could not be bothered if I do terrible things like trying to attack the neighbor.
She just says it's the neighbor's own fault and he deserves it. Grrr! I've been a good boy with other people though.
I'm trying my best, you guys. Go fight a cat and pretend to lose. I'm sure it will turn up the sympathy levels.
3. Sad eyes
I look at mommy with sad eyes after I've been naughty. She then hugs me and tells me not to do it again. Practice the sad eyes. It's a valuable trait.
4. Don't yell back
When Fluffy is naughty and mommy says she must stop it, she yells back. Big mistake! Just keep quiet. You're making it obvious you're naughty and can't be trusted with anything.
5. Stop whatever you're doing
When we're caught and Fluffy continues on her rampage, I slowly distance myself from the situation. That way it looks like she did it all by herself.
If you don't have a sibling to put the blame on, just stop whatever you're doing and remove yourself from the room.
I normally bend my head down and go lie a distance away while Fluffy is running in circles around mommy with something in her mouth.
She perfected the art of not being caught by running fast in circles. I'm more of a be quiet and stay calm type of doggie.
Hope that helps you guys. The humans don't always understand our need to rip things apart.
I don't do it often, it's just when Fluffy finds something to tug on I can't help myself. She forces me to play tug with her and a doggie can't resist.
These blame dodging ways can work for humans too. Mommy Renza always looks innocent and gets away with anything. I learned from the best. Now I'm using it on her.
Time to go now. I see Fluffy eating a shoe again. Whose shoe? I don't know. I think I'll go sleep rather. I don't want to be associated with that crime.
Woof! Woof!
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Author: Buffy
Job: Guard dog, part-time blogger, Alpha dog, part-time chef
Future plans: Be the cuddliest dog in the whole wide world
Likes: Playing, eating and sleeping
Dislikes: Grooming and food thieves
Pic credit: Fluffy and I posing in pics. Pixabay free stock images Renza edited.
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