As your future world leader or like I prefer to be called Queen Fluffy, I wanted to set some dog rules for humans and lay down the law.
Every leader needs rules or else the followers will be like wandering sheep. There won't be too many changes.
Note if you are caught not following my rules, there will be consequences. You'll be taken to a special island and we'll mind-wipe you and upload what's necessary for you to be more compliant.
The pets and other animals will let me know if and when you step out of line.
Fluffy The Puppy's 10 Dog Rules For The Humans
1. Work hours
You get one other day off in the week. That means you have a 5 day work week. I could make it less, but then nothing will get done.
2. Fluffy tune-up
Each day around 5 pm you will tune into the Fluffy channel where I will give you a tune-up. The mind control needs to be updated now and again.
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| Followers tuning into Fluffy channel |
3. Play with your pets
At least an hour a day will be spent playing with your pets. Another 30 minutes to an hour for training if your pet does not know the basic obedience commands. No excuses!
Kids will have an extra subject Pets 101 in school where they will learn to train and take care of pets. It starts at a young age. I see some adults need training too.
4. Eat with your pets
The pets eat with you. If they don't, I'll know. Not that dried junk mommy always feeds me. Yummy food or else.
5. Illegal to breed
Breeding pets will be illegal. You'll need permission from me and I'll only authorize it if there's a pet shortage.
6. Everyone must have a pet
Every household is required to have at least one pet. More than one is better if you have the patience.
I understand some personalities prefer cats over dogs and vise versa. You choose. Pets in shelters will automatically be matched to a human to take care of them.
My human will write the software application that matches a pet to a suitable human. Her programming skills are a bit rusty, but that's nothing a little bit of yelling at her won't fix.
The pet will be delivered to your doorstep and both of you will be escorted to Fluffy island immediately for training and bonding exercises. The excuse of "I have a busy lifestyle" will no longer be applicable because of shorter work hours.
If you are allergic to pets we'll test you for allergies on different breeds. Don't worry! We'll find you a hairless pet if we must.
7. No killing pets
There's a black one that looks like a hell-hound. There will be no mind-wipe for you sorry. Mr. Hell-hound is waiting for you.
8. Clean up
I like a clean world. Those humans who don't have jobs will help with clean-up. Those who litter and pollute will be sent for mind-wiping and reprogramming.
9. End war
All wars and crime will end immediately. You know the drill! Try anything and the animals will deal with you.
Know when I say animals, I mean all the animals. I'm sure we can get the birds, insects and everyone in the oceans to join forces and team up. Go ahead! Be scared! Grrr...
10. Be happy
I'll make sure everyone is happy. If you're not, to Fluffy island you go.
There it is! All you have to do is follow my rules and there won't be any trouble. See, I just want to make this world better.
A doggie sees all the evil and wants to eliminate it. We are bringers of joy. So get on board humans!
Ruff-ruff!!!
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Author: Fluffy
Job: Doing puppy stuff, part-time blogger
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting feet, hands, destroying everything in sight and cuddles
Dislikes: Baths, being picked up and self-cloning Needleman
Pic credit: Renza human took pics of me and edited. Mixed with a Pixabay image.
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