Ruff! Hello, my fluffy pack! As your future queen, I've had to learn how to eat properly. Dog table manners go hand in hand with queendom.I can tell you now already that Buffy did not teach me eating skills. He eats like an animal! You'd think since domestication that our species would have been more civilized by now, but nope.
Snowy also eats like Buffy so I'm assuming it's an epidemic. Humans aren't too worried about eating properly either. Food falling on the floor is proof of this.
Let's look at how you can improve your eating skills.
Basic dining etiquette for dogs
1. Chew your food
You'd think this one is obvious but it's not. Buffy swallows his food whole. I wish I was kidding.
Mommy has to mince his food like a baby or else it gets stuck in his throat. How hard is it to chew? Geez!
Teeth are not just for threatening the human, it's used for chewing food too. Use it!
2. Take breaks between mouthfuls
I know it's tempting to eat all your food up without stopping but it's a bad idea. Mommy has to make sure Buffy doesn't choke because of swallowing too much food at once.
It's the only time he gets yelled at. Mr. Cant-do-wrong has bad eating habits. Finally a skill I can teach him!
 |
| Buffy eating my food in front of me |
3. Eat up all your food
That's the only food Buffy chews so we get a lot of it. A lot! This is why point nr. 1 is so important.
If you don't chew, the human will give you more dried food because it's not as yummy and they know you'll chew it so that it goes down easier.
This spiral effect must be avoided. If you find yourself in a situation where you've been getting just dried food then don't worry. Just go on a food strike.
I've been on a few strikes so I know how effective they are in getting what you want.
A food strike is where you have to refuse to eat.
I know it's hard but it's worth it. When the human starts wondering why you're not eating, all your favorite dishes will suddenly appear out of nowhere.
It depends on you if you're willing to hold out for the good stuff. Humans are slow and lazy. You might have to wait a while.
4. Bowls are optional
Look! Personally, I can eat food off anything. The ground, mommy's hand, a chair, a mat. Anything! Bowls aren't necessary.
 |
| Discussing empty bowl with mommy |
We all know to waste food is a doggy sin. The 5-second rule does not exist!
5. Smell before eating
Not everything is yummy or eatable. I've done some extensive taste testing of everything around here.
It's normally followed by mommy screaming, chasing me and forcing my mouth open. It's not my fault that things are just lying around.
In my defense, I'm still learning and very curious. Anyway, I know now that I have to smell first then eat.
Mommy also taught me the swop trick where I trade her for whatever I have in my mouth. Normally with something better smelling.
6. Begging for food
Dogs are really good at begging for food. All it takes is sad eyes and staring at the human until they cave. Believe me, they will cave eventually.
This only works if you're in close proximity to the human when they're eating. They will try to distance themselves from you because they are weak.
 |
| Buffy's expert sad eyes look |
Let the begging begin!
7. Should you bin raid?
Sometimes food goes from the human's plate straight into the garbage bin. Why? I wish I knew. The horror!
Leftovers are supposed to go straight into a dog's mouth. We were made to consume leftovers.
In case a mixup like this occurs then bin raiding is an option to correct the mistake. Buffy
is a professional bin raider but refuses to teach me his garbage eating dog skills. The nerve!
Don't worry! As long as I'm right behind him while he tips the bin over, then I get to enjoy yummy garbage food too.
What?! Geez! We're dogs. This is what we do.
That's it my fluffy pack. I hope you don't eat like Buffy. Remember the worse you eat, the worse the eatables will get.
Food is what makes us doggies happy. Got to go now. I see Buffy trying to eat my dried junk food. Excuse me while I go yell at him!
Ruff! Ruff!
PS: If you love our blog and want to show your support, just buy us some yummy treats
paypal.me/lifeanddogstuff. Thank you! Woof! ♥ :-)
Author: Fluffy
Job: Doing puppy work, part-time blogger, a world leader in training.
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting hands, destroying everything in sight, playing, stalking, digging, cuddles and tummy rubs.
Dislikes: Baths, self-cloning Needleman and not getting my way.
Pic credit: Fluffy(me) and Buffy posing for pics Renza took and edited. Main pic from Pixabay.
Never miss a blog post by Joining the fluffy pack for updates you guys. Please share if you think your friends will enjoy reading my Dog Table Manners - Fluffy's Tips on How to Eat Properly post. Thank you! Ruff!